The Amazing Adventures of Kyrgyzstan and Col

Chapter Nine: Poof!

There’s no easy way to put this, so I’ll just throw it on out there.

My sister got herself married, kidnapped, however you want to say it, two Sundays ago.

Yeah. That’s what I said.

But word has it that the guy was her boyfriend, so I'm not suppossed to be too scared for her. She told me before that she really liked this one, so I'll try to be happy for her. It's just that I don't know when I'm going to be able to see her again.

I have to tell you, I actually am pretty bummed about it because now it’s just me and the boys, and I have a sneaking suspicion that to make things easier on my apa, I’m going to have to pick up the slack around the house.

See, I guess when Aidena’s husband’s family came over on Sunday and handed over the “bride price” and my ata accepted the money, it was official. I’m not really sure how it all went down, but I’ll give you the play-by-play I have in my head.

Friday: Aidena comes home from university.

Saturday: I wake up to the sound of Aidena cleaning the house like mad. I participate out of obligation. There’s sweeping and dish washing and clothes cleaning and the whole 9 yards. My apa comes home from Bishkek to a clean home and a meal of plov, ready to be eaten as a family. I suspect nothing.

Sunday: I leisurely get up and find out that my apa and ata went to the city for a day at the bazaar. When they get home my apa comes up to me, crying, and tells me that Aidena left. She is not coming home anymore. This is not her home. She has a husband now.

“Whaaaa?”

Yeah, there were tears and awkward hugs and about an hour of me hiding in my room, scared to make conversation. Eventually my ata called me out to tell me that soccer was playing on TV. As if nothing happened, he expected me to plop a squat and enjoy the match. I tried to. I really did. That lasted for about 20 minutes. When he got up, I got up, and I returned back to my room. Then a few hours later, I was called out to help make borsock. I was confused. My apa switched from mother-whose-daughter-just-got-kidnapped to mother-who-needs-to-throw-a-party-for-her-wedded-daughter. Within a few hours, everything was ready, guests were arriving, and I was trying my best to not be the center of attention. I had to drink tea with the groom’s male relatives. It may have been the most uncomfortable 2 hours of my life. Anyway, I randomly retreated back to my room, like the hermit I have become, but would emerge sporadically, playing the role of “fun foreigner.”

Monday: I went to bed around 2:00 a.m., but the party had just begun. Occasionally, I’d hear the voice of a familiar relative, but I’d just turn over in my bed, waiting for the party to die down. It never did. At 11:00 the following morning, I come out of my room wearing the exact same outfit I went to bed in, only to be welcomed by 20 new faces, mostly neighbors and children. This went on for the entire day.

At about 6:00 in the evening, I finally decided that it was time for me to put my party hat on and really celebrate. This was a bad decision. I cannot for the life of me hold my vodka. I just can’t. I am a shame to Russians and Kyrgyz everywhere.

All that celebrating and I still don’t have Aidena back.

This was taken a while ago before my first Siberian winter. She's the one on the left. And that's not me next to her in case you thought it was.



Anyway, I taught school this week. It’s the 4th quarter, and there’s only two months of school left until summer vacation. Then I am “off” for three months. When summer is up, I will have been in country for an entire year. Already I have had a hard time accepting the reality that almost a year has gone by since I graduated college. I can’t even believe it.

Right now the neighborhood kids are playing a game where they pass a ball around in a circle, hitting it like a volleyball. They play this game every night for about two and half hours. It’s right outside my bedroom window, so I can hear everything. Only sometimes do I get the desire to run out there like I’m seven and play along with them. As of yet, I haven’t joined in the fun, but I sense the day emerging.

My mom sent a soccer ball from home, so I occasionally play “Who Can Score 5 Goals First” with Beknazar. He’s 11. I’m better at kicking than he is, but I let him win sometimes. I think he thinks he’s better than me, and that bothers me, so maybe I’ll up the ante, and put him back in his place.

American music plays all day, everyday on this one radio station my family listens to. It’s really hard getting through a meal when all I hear is, “My lovely lady lump. My hump, my bump, my lovely lady lump.”

Oh, and I should also mention that Angelina Jolie is a huge success here. Not in terms of her acting or humanitarian work, but just the reality that her dome-piece is on the bottle of some cheap, red wine. Actually, I don’t even know if people know who she is, but I got a good kick out of it anyway. There she was, lips everywhere.

I’m in Bishkek now on medical. Nothing serious, just a knee thing. My computer is broken-broken, so I have to get that mailed home via FedEx or DHL while I’m here. My mom and I were actually on a 3-way phone conversation with the guy at Apple while I was at some Russian restaurant last week. Since I’ve been in-country, that was the yuppiest I have felt. But I’m still not a Cubs fan, so no worries.

posted by C @ 5:06 PM